Epistemic Song

Jamie Dreier, Nomy Arpaly, Dave Estlund

(To the tune of “Mambo No. 5,” New lyrics by Arpaly, Dreier, Estlund)

Point 1, point 2, point 3, point 4
Everybody grab a credence, then grab some more
Point 5, point 6, point 7, wait!
Man you’re crazy if you think that you can hit .8!2.
It’s the latest dance, the best in town:
Grab a word like “epistemic”, then add a noun
Like “angst” or “insouciance” or “indulgence” or “greed”
If you want a paper topic that’s all you need!

CHORUS (all 3 sing)
Epistemic trespass on my lawn,
some epistemic charity, bring it on!
Injustice epistemic 123,
don’t give me your polemic: not for me!

Epistemic duties, off my back
Epistemic peers, gone off the track
Epistemic deference? outta town!
Epistemic democrats, vote em down!

Forget old virtue, vice and blame
Every word remotely ethics-like is now fair game
If “duty” doesn’t really seem to hit the spot
Epistemic consequentialism’s also hot”

Epistemic disrespect or were you just teasin’?
Epistemic rationality and epistemic reason
If you think this construction is epistemic fine
Then you must be out of your epistemic mind!